Guest post by: Tanya Lloyd Kyi
Do you have the rare combination of persistence and patience necessary to be both parent and writer? I’ve created this handy Cosmo-style quiz to help you find out.
1. You’re on the phone with your publisher when your son suddenly projectile-vomits across the living room. You:
a. Drop your publisher in the puke and comfort your darling.
b. Scream: “Aaaaaah! Spew emergency!” Then hang up.
c. Chuck a cloth at the kid and hash out those e-rights now, while you have the chance.
2. You have one e-mail to write. One. But your child won’t stop clinging to your freakin’ leg and you can’t concentrate for long enough to string a freakin’ sentence together and you really can’t remember WHY it’s illegal to list children on freakin’ Craigslist. You:
a. Take a deep breath and cuddle your child. Obviously, he needs you more than your editor.
b. Call Grandma. Put her on the phone with your child, close the door, and concentrate!
c. Pour yourself a scotch. It’s 6 o’clock somewhere.
3. Your child is finally asleep. You can’t wait to hit the keyboard. But, your spouse is looking at you in THAT way. You:
a. Think how a third child would really fill that empty space in your soul.
c. Pull on your bathrobe and bunny slippers and pass your partner the TV remote. You’ve got writing to do.
If you chose mostly A: You’re a (much) better mother than I am. But the writing gig’s not going to work out. Maybe try music therapy, or reiki.
If you chose mostly B: You suck at parenting on some days and suck at writing on others. Welcome to the real world. You’re going to be just fine.
If you chose mostly C: Congratulations on your inner strength. I look forward to seeing your books on the bestseller lists. Just hire yourself a full-time nanny, pronto.
Who is Tanya Lloyd Kyi?
Tanya Lloyd Kyi writes middle-grade and young-adult books from her home in Vancouver. She has an eight-year-old daughter and a six-year-old son, who are remarkably patient when she has imaginary conversations in her head and neglects to answer real-life questions. Tanya’s upcoming novel Anywhere But Here, published by Simon & Schuster, will be available October 15, 2013.
Tanya also manages to blog almost daily, and her blog is hilarious. Check it out here.
What is SOUNDBITES?
Soundbites is an ongoing conversation about creative life and work, moderated by Deryn Collier.
For the next few months we’ll be talking about writing and parenting with weekly guest posts from writer/parents who are really way too busy to bother with guest blog posts. And yet, here they are.
Your comments are always welcome! Let us know the truth! Do YOU have what it takes to be a writer/ parent?